Realizing Failure: Mad Max Fury Road

Hey guys, today i wanna talk about something i use to be passionate about and i lost the passion for it which caused me to not trying and failing. Many of you may or may not know i went to Brock University for the program Media and Communication. Before going into the program i was so excited the fact i was gonna study media, i was ready to take the challenge in achieving and learning more about the media but turns out you don't really learn media through the way i saw it. (magazines, newspaper, radio and film) We learned through films and text (history and terminology).
I was having a midnight snack before bed and i turned the tele on to watch something fun, it appeared that Mad Max: Fury Road was on and it was the last 30 minutes. i said, fuck it mite as well watch cause nothing else was better was on. i started watching fell so into focus and realized this was in my film textbook about in few chapters taking about the details of the movie. when the movie ended my heart dropped and i was in tears realizing that only if i tried harder and didn't get involved much and stayed to myself more i would have been a second year student. only if i had the guts more to speak up in class, more guts to go and get help from every resource. Realizing this is a big deal for me because not only am i in debt of $22,000 but now i have to earn money because i can't get the government loan for a year and go to college with my earnings. It sucks knowing that i was such a passionate person but the perspective i got from the first day is what i carried on and made me not want to try harder to love that i had the opportunity to learn something different than anyone in my family.
Its sad, but I'm glad i realized that this was probably my biggest lose in life. If any of my professors read this, I am glad u failed my dumb self. I appreciate that you tried to teach and put knowledge into me but i couldn't be a better student/learner. I appreciate the school for this program and i wish luck to the future and present students in this program, i hope at least one of the students will work in a magazine as big as Vogue as that is what i wanted to get at after this degree.